Dating someone who won’t grow up can be frustrating, especially if you want a mature relationship. If you’re wondering if the man you’re seeing will ever take responsibility or mature, there are some clear signs. From avoiding commitment to not focusing on life goals, spotting these red flags early can save you from disappointment. Here are the key signs he may never grow up.
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ToggleThere’s no furniture in his house
If his living space looks like a college dorm, with a mattress on the floor, mismatched chairs, and no real adult furniture, it’s a strong sign he’s not focused on stability or comfort. The absence of proper furnishings may indicate he’s hesitant to settle down or take life seriously.
He spends more on beer than underwear
If he’s choosing alcohol over basic necessities like underwear, it’s a clear sign his spending is out of control. This shows poor judgment and lack of responsibility, suggesting he’s more focused on instant gratification than living a balanced, mature life.
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He never has money to take you anywhere nicer than Taco Bell
If he always says he can’t afford anything beyond fast food but has money for his hobbies or nights out with friends, it’s a red flag. This shows poor priorities and a lack of effort in your relationship, reflecting an immature attitude toward both finances and commitment.
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He’s perfectly content living in a one-bedroom flat in the university district
If he’s still content living in a cramped one-bedroom flat in the university district long after college, it could signal he’s avoiding adulthood. His reluctance to improve his living situation suggests he’s holding on to a youthful mindset and unwilling to embrace the responsibilities and stability of growing up.
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His beard is so long and unkempt that you start to wonder if sparrows might be nesting in it
If his beard is so long and unkempt that you half expect to see a family of sparrows nesting in it, it’s a sign he’s not prioritizing personal grooming or maturity. While a well-kept beard can be stylish, letting it grow wild indicates he isn’t concerned about presenting himself as an adult.
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He rides a skateboard to work
If he’s still riding a skateboard to work, it might indicate he’s stuck in his teenage years. While skateboarding can be fun, using it as his main mode of transportation in adulthood shows a reluctance to embrace more practical, grown-up choices in both transportation and life.
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He only ever seems to wear jeans, shorts, or flannel shirts
If his wardrobe consists solely of jeans, shorts, and flannel shirts, it may suggest he’s stuck in a perpetual state of casual. While comfort is important, his unwillingness to dress appropriately for different occasions could indicate he’s not ready to embrace the responsibilities and maturity of adulthood.
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He has a good job, but is always broke
If he has a well-paying job but is always broke, it’s a red flag that he might lack financial responsibility or prioritize instant gratification over long-term stability. Whether due to impulsive spending, poor money management, or an unwillingness to save, this behavior suggests he may not be ready to face the adult realities of life.
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He suddenly has cash when his friends invite him to go whitewater rafting
When his friends invite him to spontaneous adventures like whitewater rafting, he somehow always manages to find the cash, even though he claims to be broke the rest of the time. This selective spending indicates that he prioritizes fun with friends over practical responsibilities, suggesting he’s not quite ready to mature and manage his finances responsibly.
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Max Brassfield via Pexels
His bike is worth more than the car
If his bike is worth more than his car, it may indicate misplaced priorities or a reluctance to invest in practical essentials. While having a high-quality bike is great, valuing it over a reliable car suggests he might lack maturity in managing responsibilities and making balanced decisions.
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Philipp M via Pexels
He changes jobs every six months, despite being in his late 30s
If he switches jobs every six months, even in his late 30s, it may indicate an inability or unwillingness to commit to long-term goals or responsibilities. Frequent job changes can reflect a lack of stability, career ambition, or maturity, which can hinder his personal and professional growth.
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Artem Podrez via Pexels
He moves every six months, either because he can’t pay rent or because his roommate gets tired of him loafing on the couch all day
If he moves every six months because he can’t pay rent or has conflicts with roommates, it indicates a lack of stability and personal responsibility. Frequent relocations suggest problems with financial management or interpersonal relationships, both of which may reflect immaturity or a reluctance to confront adult responsibilities.
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He cries when you’re angry with him
If he bursts into tears when you’re angry, it suggests he struggles to handle emotional stress or confrontation maturely. Rather than engaging in productive discussions or taking responsibility, he may resort to emotional outbursts, indicating a lack of emotional resilience and maturity that can put a strain on the relationship.
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When he’s mad, he calls you childish names
If he resorts to calling you childish names when he’s upset, it reflects a lack of maturity and respect in handling conflicts. Rather than addressing issues with constructive communication, he defaults to immature behavior, which can undermine the relationship’s foundation and reveal an inability to engage in adult disagreements.
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He leaves the toilet seat up
If he always leaves the toilet seat up, it may signal inconsiderate behavior and a lack of basic household etiquette. This seemingly minor habit could indicate a broader pattern of lacking consideration for others, suggesting immaturity in managing daily life.
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He either doesn’t show up for dates or cancels at the last minute
If he often doesn’t show up for dates or cancels at the last minute, it shows a lack of respect for your time and commitment. This behavior indicates a disregard for the relationship’s importance and may suggest an unwillingness to prioritize and invest in a meaningful partnership.
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Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels
His most common excuse is that something ridiculously stupid came up to derail him
If his go-to excuse for missing plans is that something abominably stupid came up, it indicates a lack of accountability and reliability. Consistently making up ridiculous reasons not only shows a disregard for your time but also suggests he isn’t taking the relationship seriously or making genuine commitments.
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The “Forever Young” logo is tiled into the bottom of his pool.
If he has a “Forever Young” logo tiled into the bottom of his pool, it might seem playful or quirky, but it could also indicate a reluctance to mature or embrace adult responsibilities. This obsession with perpetual youth might signal an unwillingness to grow up and face the realities of life.
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He’s always at a house that’s going into foreclosure
If he spends all his time at a house that’s facing foreclosure, it suggests he may be clinging to the past or avoiding important issues. This behavior could indicate a lack of maturity or financial responsibility, as he appears more focused on the nostalgia of the property than on confronting the reality of his situation.
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He drinks Mountain Dew for breakfast
If he still drinks Mountain Dew for breakfast, it signals a disregard for healthy habits and personal responsibility. Opting for a sugary, caffeinated beverage instead of a balanced meal reflects a lack of maturity and foresight, suggesting he may not be taking important aspects of adulthood seriously.
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He hides under the covers when you’re angry
If he hides under the bedcovers when you’re angry, it suggests he tends to avoid conflict instead of addressing issues maturely. This behavior reflects an unwillingness to confront problems directly and an emotional immaturity that can impede effective communication and problem-solving in the relationship.
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Kristin Vogt via Pexels
His breakfast choice is Fruit Loops
If his top breakfast choice is Fruit Loops, it indicates he prioritizes convenience over nutrition or has an immature palate. Relying on sugary cereal instead of more balanced meal options suggests a lack of interest in healthy eating habits and may point to an overall unwillingness to adopt more responsible lifestyle choices.
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He watches cartoons on Saturday morning
If he watches cartoons on Saturday mornings, it may indicate a reluctance to fully embrace adult responsibilities and a preference for youthful habits. While enjoying nostalgia can be enjoyable, consistently reverting to childhood routines might signal an unwillingness to grow up and confront more mature aspects of life.
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His only friends are those he made in elementary school
If his only friends are those he made in elementary school, it may indicate a lack of personal growth or difficulty in forming new relationships. Relying solely on old friendships suggests he struggles to adapt to new social environments or to build meaningful connections outside his comfort zone.
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Suzy Hazelwood via Pexels
The women he’s dated in the last 20 years are old high school friends or people he met in the unemployment line
If most of the women he’s dated in the last 20 years are old high school friends or women he met in the unemployment line, it may indicate a lack of effort or growth in his dating life. Relying on familiar faces suggests a reluctance to engage in new social settings or to seek meaningful connections elsewhere.
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If he talks in baby talk, it may indicate immaturity or an attempt to avoid serious conversations, and it can come across as cringey. Using a childish voice or expressions in adult situations suggests a lack of emotional maturity or an unwillingness to engage in meaningful adult communication.
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Keira Burton via Pexels
He loves driving to the mall
If he enjoys driving to the mall, it may suggest a preference for familiar, routine activities over seeking new experiences or challenges. This habit can indicate a reluctance to step out of his comfort zone and a tendency to focus on trivial pastimes rather than pursuing meaningful growth or change.
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Tom Fisk via Pexels
He’d rather play video games with kids than raise them
If he prefers playing video games with kids over raising them, it reveals a reluctance to take on adult responsibilities. This choice shows a desire to escape into the fantasy world of games rather than engage in the hard work and commitment required for parenting, making him an unsuitable partner for building a family.
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He says he’ll call or meet you but doesn’t
When he says he’ll call or meet you and then doesn’t, it shows a lack of respect for your time and commitment. This behavior reflects immaturity and inconsistency, indicating that he may not be ready to prioritize a serious relationship or understand the importance of reliability and communication.
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Engin Akyurt via Pexels
He won’t take you to a restaurant that sells wine
If he hasn’t taken you to a restaurant that sells wine, it shows a lack of interest in exploring more refined or sophisticated experiences. This may indicate an unwillingness to invest in the relationship beyond basic or casual settings, reflecting a possible resistance to embracing more mature, adult activities.
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Brett Sayles via Pexels
The pain of being around them eventually outweighs the fun
If the pain of being around him eventually overshadows the fun, it suggests that the negative aspects of the relationship outweigh the positive experiences. If you’re feeling frustrated by his lack of maturity, it may indicate that the relationship is more damaging than enjoyable and potentially not worth your continued investment.
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Leah Newhouse via Pexels
The bedroom doesn’t have a bed frame
If his bedroom lacks a bed frame, it may indicate a lack of maturity or seriousness about home life. A bed frame is a basic component of a well-maintained living space, and its absence could suggest a casual or careless attitude toward creating a comfortable and stable home environment.
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Curtis Adams via Pexels
His 401k somehow has a negative balance
If his 401k has a negative balance, it indicates serious financial mismanagement. This retirement account should ideally grow over time, so a negative balance suggests reckless spending, poor financial planning, or withdrawing funds without understanding the consequences.
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Tara Winstead via Pexels
He has no idea what a vacation fund is
If he doesn’t know what a vacation fund is, it suggests a lack of financial foresight and planning. A vacation fund is designed for saving in advance to enjoy a trip without financial strain, so not having one indicates he may not be considering long-term goals or prioritizing future financial stability.
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His car isn’t worth more than $35
If his car isn’t worth much, it reveals a significant disregard for personal investment or maintenance. A low-value car may indicate neglect, financial instability, or an aversion to upgrading essential assets, suggesting a reluctance to invest in things that could improve his quality of life.
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Salvo Cirmi via Pexels
He wouldn’t be able to care for fish
If he can’t keep a fish alive, it strongly indicates a lack of responsibility and commitment. Caring for a pet, even a simple fish, requires basic care and consistency. Struggling with this may signal difficulties in managing more complex relationships and responsibilities.
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Maria Tyutina via Pexels
He can’t pass a drug test without drinking a gallon of water a half hour before
If he can’t pass a drug test without drinking a gallon of water beforehand, it suggests he can’t get it together. This behavior points to a lack of accountability and substance abuse issues, which can seriously affect the future of any relationship.
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Curtis Adams via Pexels
You’re angrier around him than anyone else
If you feel more angry or frustrated around him than with anyone else, it’s a significant red flag. This consistent negativity suggests that his behavior and attitudes are affecting your well-being, highlighting a lack of compatibility and respect in the relationship.
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Keira Burton via Pexels
His video game memorabilia rivals a museum’s
His extensive collection of video games and action figures looks like it belongs in a museum. While having hobbies is fine, an obsession with childhood interests may indicate a reluctance to move on from youthful pursuits, leaving little room for anyone else in his life.
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cottonbro studio via Pexels
His “grown up” investment idea is buying the latest tech gadget
Instead of making practical investments for the future, like savings or retirement plans, he spends his money on the latest tech gadgets. This focus on short-term pleasures over long-term planning signals a lack of maturity and foresight, indicating he isn’t considering thoughtful gifts for you either.
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Dating someone who won’t grow up can be frustrating, especially if you want a mature relationship. If you’re wondering if the man you’re seeing will ever take responsibility or mature, there are some clear signs. From avoiding commitment to not focusing on life goals, spotting these red flags early can save you from disappointment. Here are the key signs he may never grow up.
There’s no furniture in his house
If his living space looks like a college dorm, with a mattress on the floor, mismatched chairs, and no real adult furniture, it’s a strong sign he’s not focused on stability or comfort. The absence of proper furnishings may indicate he’s hesitant to settle down or take life seriously.
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